But last night was different.
It got a bit darker on the "streets" I was wandering down. I began to think about how fast time seems to be going lately and how much I wish I could slow it all down sometimes. I thought about the Munchkin being five and thought how quickly five to forty five really is and then I thought about how fast my forty-five will be eighty-five and then I started to panic.
"What If" Street was no longer a happy place filled with possibilities. It became a scary place filled with unfulfilled dreams. "What if" I never get to do all the things I dream of doing, just like my sister didn't. "What if" I never get the chance to create all the things I dream of creating. "What if " I don't have what I need to get through tomorrow ... and the day after that ... and the day after that ... and so on. "What if" my tomorrow never comes?
Yeah, it got really frightening and I began to feel like I couldn't catch my breath. I felt so lost and alone. To say I was scared would be an understatement. I sent up a weak little prayer for help and wondered if anyone heard me.
God heard my cry and swooped in and took me out of that dark and ominous place and brought me back to the light. I recently read (so sorry I don't remember where so I can't give proper credit where it's due) that God gives us grace for today. Tomorrow He'll give us grace for tomorrow and so on. In other words, we don't have to worry about our tomorrows ... rest assured God will take care of those too... instead, we can just focus on today and be confident that His grace will be sufficient.
That is such a freeing thought to me and it's what got me off the dark streets of panic last evening and back on "Living in the Moment" Lane ... a much better place to be.
"Do not be afraid of tomorrow; for God is already there."