When an illness knocks you on your [bum], you should stay and relax for a while before trying to get back up.
There is a cold of cosmic proportions going round these parts. I managed to avoid it for several days, but I was no match for this bad boy virus. I am down for the count people. I have lost all sense of smell and long for the day when breathing through my nose is again a reality. I look like Rudolph's twin ... except for the whole hoof and antlers thing. I want nothing more than to curl up in my bed with an extra quilt or two and just sleep this thing away. Unfortunately my littles are on the upside of this crud and ( as my bad luck would have it) are now experiencing a huge burst in energy. Oh well, guess I'll just park myself in the recliner, turn the kiddie channel on the ol' idiot box and pray they don't do to much damage when I inevitably nod off.
"Life is like a field of newly fallen snow. Where I choose to walk every step will show."
It has come to my attention recently that I am no longer a spring chicken. My hands sometimes hurt on cold damp mornings. My knees creak and moan when I get out of bed in the morning. I can't read the fine print anymore without the aid of reading glasses and every time I look in the mirror I gasp a little at that (ahem) "mature" woman looking back at me.
I have to admit, it's taken me a bit by surprise. Seems like only yesterday I was young and naive, now I'm older and wiser. I am at the point where one starts asking oneself questions like, "What do I want to accomplish in my time here on earth?" "When can I retire" and "Will these children ever leave home?"
I had some time to think recently (read: my peeps actually acknowledged the fact that the bathroom door was closed) and I thought a bit about what I want to do with my life now that I am approaching a major milestone birthday. Granted I have a few years before the big 5-0 arrives, but I rarely get the luxury of 10 minutes of uninterrupted thought so I went for it. I can't say that I had some major revelation and now have the next 50 years or so mapped out. In reality, I wouldn't want to. This Mama Hen don't roll that way. I kinda like the adventure of not knowing what's around the next corner. That said, I do have a few goals (guideposts if you will) for the journey that lies ahead.
1. Grow old gracefully.
I have earned each and everyone of those wrinkles and laugh-lines I see in the mirror. I am not going to waste money and time trying to recapture my youth. I am going to embrace who I am right here, and right now.
2. Leave my mark.
I may just be a little ol' housewife from the Midwest, but I can still blaze a few trails. At the very least, three little people call me Mama and I can make a difference in their lives. God-willing, I would like to do something with my writing. I haven't quite figured out what just yet, but I'm working on a few things.
3. Have some fun.
I spend a lot of time being busy. Taking care of my mom, homeschooling, housekeeping and laundry fill up most of my days, leaving little time for spontaneous fun. I've decided to make a conscious decision to make more time for fun. While I am not sure how to make housekeeping and laundry fun, I can seek out opportunities to laugh and reminisce with my mom and plan fun active leaning activities for my chicklets.
That's all I've come up with for now. If time allows I might think up a few more, but I think these are a pretty good start. Embrace the wrinkles, touch some lives and enjoy the ride --- sounds like a pretty good plan to me:)
"One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn't do."
I have a bit of a confession to make ... I have a few fear issues. Some might say some of my fears border on irrational . Like my fear and loathing of balloons -- I can't help thinking that the dang blasted things are going to pop at any moment and that just puts me on edge. Okay maybe that one is a bit of a stretch, but spiders? C'mon those things are just downright freaky, right?
Some of my fears have no basis. Like my fear of losing my ring when I put a letter in the mailbox. I have never lost my ring this way, nor do I know of anyone who has and yet every time I drop an envelope in one of those big blue metal monsters I double check to make sure my wedding ring is nice and secure. It could happen!
Some of my fears have some sense of being reasonable, but if you dig a little you see they are not. Take my fear of lightening. On the surface one could vouch that lightening could in fact be dangerous and a healthy fear or at least awareness of it is not all that bad. My fear of it, however stems from the comment a friend's dad made over thirty years ago. His hobby was weather, in fact he had his very own weather station at his house and regularly called in weather data to the local news. I figured this guy knew his stuff, so when he made the comment upon seeing me in my headgear and braces that I better watch out because I was a lightening rod with all that metal, I was crippled with fear. Mind you my brace and headgear wearing days are looooooong gone, but I still cringe whenever Mother Natures lights up the sky. Hey, the man was a weatherman ... he knew what he was talking about!
Some of my fears are very reasonable... no really they are. Things that have happened in the past and could very well happen again. I get a little panicky around angry dogs since the Little Munchkin got bit. Not a big fan of bike riding on loose gravel roads since I ended up skidding and flipping into an eight foot ditch. Don't even get me started on buzzing bees!
Ok, clearly I have a few little funky issues, but hey, who doesn't? I had to laugh today when my eighty-six year young mama made the comment that, "There ain't a single one of us on this big old globe that doesn't have a screw or two that could use a little tightening." Can I get an amen?
What about you? What's your biggest fear? Right now, I would have to say mine is the fear of sharing my writing with others. I recently attended a blogging workshop and shared a little about me and this little blog with the other workshop participants. It wasn't until afterwards that the panic started to set in. What if they don't like me? What if they think I'm no good? What if? What if? What if? This whole "being a writer" thing is still pretty new to me. I enjoy it, but my inner critic can be a great big bully. Thankfully, I belong to the world's most awesome writing critique group. These peeps are my biggest cheerleaders and because of their encouraging words (and the small little fact that a soon to be published book will have my writing in it... MY writing! Somebody pinch me!), I may just have to agree with Mr. Ford's quote --- I don't need to be afraid. I can do this!