A Season of Doubt

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

Life is so not going according to plan --- well my plan anyway.  There have been a few unexpected bumps in the road as of late.  Most notably --- time spent here last Friday evening.

source unknown :(

My plans called for a quiet evening spent a home with the Geek.  The love of my life had been away on business for a week and I was looking forward to snuggling up next to him and watching a movie.  That was my plan.  Instead a head cold The Geek picked up on the trip had worsened to the point that he could barely breath.  He skin was gray, he was panting and his temperature was only 94 degrees.  I knew I had to get him to the emergency room ASAP and I was right.  He had pneumonia that had started to go septic (infect his blood).  My quiet night at home morphed into a night spent watching the man I love get poked and prodded and eventually ended with me trying to sleep in the world's most uncomfortable chair at his hospital bedside --- a spot I rarely left for the entire weekend. 

Through the miracle of IV antibiotics and the grace of God, he is now home.  His road to recovery is still long and still filled with some serious uncertainty.  I don't want to go into all the details here, but I will say we have a lot questions that remained to be answered in the weeks ahead as a result of all of this.  I am really struggling to remain positive and not let my mind go to a place of doubt and "what if" but it's hard.  I come from a long line of worriers and it's tough to fight genetics, you know?

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

1 Peter 5:7 NIV

I am clinging to these words for comfort.  God cares for me, I know He does.  I know He has plans for my future--- our future --- I just can't help but wish they are the same as mine. Only time will tell.