So Proud of My Boy

Boy Wonder has not always been an easy child to mother. God wired him a certain way that has been a challenge since day one. There have been many times when I have questioned why the Man Upstairs felt I was qualified to raise him. Patience is not always one of my strong points and parenting Boy Wonder requires by the truckload. 

From being kicked out of preschool on the first day, to countless trips to the Principal's office before we chose to home school ... I have often wondered what God had planned for the boy. I still remember the day a school administrator told me my child would probably end up a juvenile delinquent by the time he reached his teens. I refused to believe that was true and made the decision to never give up on the boy so many others had written off as a problem child.  (Incidentally, he had never done anything much worse in school than acting up in class and being somewhat awkward socially, so where the "delinquent prediction" came from never made sense to me at all.  We switched churches shortly after the "potential delinquent" label was pasted on him and he was able to begin again with a clean slate as far as others opinions of him were concerned.)

With God leading the way, I have done my best to make my son believe in himself. I have worked hard to make him see that he is truly a "Boy Wonder" and that God has great plans for him. On this past Sunday I was finally able to see a glimpse of what might lie ahead in Boy Wonder's future.  I was blessed with the chance to finally enjoy a bit of payoff for years of parenting struggles.  

Boy Wonder was confirmed at our church last Sunday. It was the culmination of two-plus years of instruction and exploration of faith. As a final project, he was asked to write a Statement of Faith detailing what his faith means to him. He, and three other young women (out of a class of eighteen), were chosen to share their statements in front of the church congregation on Sunday during the service.  I am not just saying this because I'm his mama ... he was AMAZING! You had to be there to fully appreciate it, but the boy delivered his statement flawlessly. He engaged people, got a few laughs and made a definite impact with his words. I cannot tell you the number of people that came up to me afterword and commented on how moved they were by his witness. 

He has also had (for lack of better words) a major personality shift since Sunday.  It's like the whole rite of confirmation literally changed who he is inside and out.  I told him I love how he is acting not only with me, but with his sister.  The constant nitpicking and bickering has all but vanished.  I know it's only been a few days, but this is the longest it has been so peaceful in our home.  Today he told me the reason behind his new attitude.  He said that he felt it was time to stop being a hypocrite.  He said all the people telling him how proud they were of him made him realize that the person others see is not the person he is at home most of the time.  He said his faith makes him want to be a better brother and son.  Wow! If I ever doubted the power of prayer, I don't now!

Praise God!  My boy, my little troublesome boy has become a Man of God and I couldn't be prouder to call him my son.

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With his permission, I share with you Boy Wonder's "Statement of Faith":

What does my faith mean to me?  I could paraphrase the Apostle’s Creed and say that I believe in God, the Father Almighty, Maker of heaven and earth and in Jesus Christ, His only Son who died and rose again.  And that I believe in the Holy Spirit and the life everlasting.   And I do believe all of that to be true but, I’d like to take the opportunity to put what my faith means to me in my own words.

Like most people, I am not perfect. Shocking, eh? You might not know this about me but I am a control freak.  I like know just how things are gonna go.  Lots of things. Not just big things, but little things, and  important things, and even things that are not important at all.  Just ask my parents, it drives them nuts.  You could say I try to give God a hand with His job, all the time. 

My faith reminds me that God loves me just the way I am … broken and all.  He is faithful to me and more powerful than I could ever be.  Like Jeremiah 29:11 (I’m quoting The Message translation here) says:

I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. 

The first time I read that passage I thought, “Wow. Plans. God has plans for me? Really?  Now we’re talking. That’s a promise I can live with.”  I know it’s gonna take some time, and a lot of patience on my part, something I may have some trouble with (okay something I do have trouble with) but I think I am on my way.  I have started to let go a little bit.  As my faith has grown and continues to I am trusting in God more.  Proverbs 3:5-6 says:

Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own.  Listen  for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;  He's the one who will keep you on track.  Don't assume that you know it all.

I have to be honest, trust is not an easy thing for me.  It might very well be something I think I will struggle with all my life.  It’s just a part of who I am … but being a Christian is also a part of who I am.  My faith makes me want to try to do better.  I want to be a witness to others and maybe my brokenness is what God has given me to work with.   He just might use my less-than-perfect life to show others how great He is by helping a control freak like me to (like my mother always says) “let go and let God.”

The bottom line is nobody’s perfect, especially me.  It’s all a part of being human.  But God is working in me through the power of the Holy Spirit and the gift of faith to make me holy again.  The truth is I have a long way to go.  I won’t be all the way there until I am with Him forever in heaven.  I know I am still going to struggle with my need to control things between now and then, but knowing He loves me enough to sacrifice His own Son gives me the strength to do my best to let Him be God.  It also makes me want to share with others just how great my God is.

And that is what my faith in God means to me.

Sometimes It's OK to Say No

Half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough

Josh Billings

My plate is full.  With three chicklets and my parents depending on me to meet so many of their daily needs, I have little time to do anything else.  It's tough, but it's a choice I made with lots of time in prayer and I know I can do this 'cause God's "got my back." 

The Geek and I were recently asked to lead a parenting Bible study group at our church.  We were praised for how we have nurtured our chicklets faith in our own home and encouraged to step up and share our experiences with others.  My first reaction was to do it, but it was quickly followed by panic and then ultimately, guilt.  It's hard for me to say no, especially when it feels like I am saying no to God.  I prayerfully considered the request though, and realized I just can't take on the responsibility of leading others at this time.  God has placed me in the role of caretaker for my immediate family and it is a full time job with little to no time off for good behavior.  To take on the additional charge of nurturing others --- even though it is a very worthy thing to do --- is just not something I can commit to right now.   I have a "guilt gene" that works overtime, but I know in my heart that sometimes it's OK to say no --- and I just have to accept that this is one of those times.

Making Time

I have always had a tendency to put myself last.  I wouldn't call myself a martyr, just stupid actually.  Not making time for myself has gotten me in a heap o' trouble on more than one occasion. I do and say things that I'm not too proud of when I am under a load of stress.  I am slightly embarrassed to admit that I have even wound up in the hospital because of my failure to make rest a top priority in my life.

I am pretty darn sure we are all familiar with the "oxygen mask analogy" --- you need to put on your own first in order to be able to effectively help others with theirs --- but seriously, am I the only one who doesn't always do this in real life?  Surely someone else out there runs around like a chicken with its head cut off like yours truly, trying to get done all that needs to get done.  Why is it so hard to remember that taking the time to relax would make me even more productive.

Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop.

Ovid

The arrival of my parents and the additional demands of taking care of two more people has brought my need to "put on my own oxygen mask first" to the forefront. I can no longer afford to be neglectful of my own needs.  I realize that a case of the "grumpies" is the least of what could happen if I fail to take care of myself.  My health and my life will be in jeopardy if I don't pay heed and make making room for downtime a part of my everyday routine. 

The time to relax is when you don't have time for it.

Sydney J. Harris

It isn't going to always be convenient.  With six people in the house (not to mention outside obligations) clamoring for my attention, it's easy to put myself last.  But what is easy, is not good in the long run for myself or those who lean on me for support.

God didn't do it all in one day. What makes me think I can?

Author Unknown 

You Should See the Other Guy!

My poor mama!  She took a tumble just before she left Florida and got quite the shiner to show for it.  She said she was gonna tell me Daddy got tired of all her lip after 68 years and clocked her --- what a kidder!  I am so glad she and Daddy are finally here where I can keep an eye on them!

The Farm - Population 5 Population 7

Life has a new normal around here once again. We've experienced a population boom as of 11:15 this morning. No longer are we a brood of five, there's two more birds in the flock --- my mama and my daddy are officially residents of the funny farm. Gonna have to come up with a couple of appropriate monikers for the two of 'em 'cuz I am sure I'll be writing about them a bit more from now on. All I can come up with right now is G-ma and The Old Coot ... meh... I'll have to give it a bit more thought.

Maybe after a good night's sleep I'll be more creative. Boy Wonder and I were up 'til the wee hours trying to get this place ship-shape. I don't know that we succeeded one-hundred percent, but we sure made an improvement. Man, can my chicklets wreck havoc on the farmhouse! Of course the fact that a lot of the crap clutter was The Geek's and mine shall be overlooked thankyouverymuch ;)

Gotta give a shout out to Boy Wonder for stepping up and helping his Mama Hen. He's a good kid, but hasn't been too willing to do my bidding as of late. I'm sure it's part of the whole teenage hormonal flux thing he's got going on, but he's been a real prickly pear and it is best to just avoid eye contact with him as much as possible. Last night, however, the man-child surprised me. He (with very little coaxing on my part, mind you) worked his tail off. It gave me hope that when this crazy ride through the "rapids of puberty" is over, he might just turn out to be a decent member of society after all.

It's difficult to decide whether growing pains are something teenagers have - or are.

Author Unknown

Scattered

My thoughts are a little bit all over the place today.  As I've mentioned before, the Geek is in a "season" of heavy business travel and I'm doing the single parent thing.  That alone muddles the brain, let me tell you.  Throw in getting ready for my parents arrival here on the farm in a few days and homeschooling the brood and you have one seriously bird-brained Mama Hen at times.  That said, I hope you'll indulge me as I share a couple of unrelated things bouncing around in my noggin at the moment.

Say Cheese!

First off wanted to share a random picture of my chicklets before church last Sunday.  It wasn't easy getting four people up and ready on time .... okay, we may have been a few several minutes late;) I probably shouldn't have taken the time for a photo op, but normally they are a little dirtier around the edges than this ... I had to capture it while I could.  They clean up well dontcha think?

My man rocks!
The Geek gave me the most awesome surprise.  Yesterday the UPS man dropped off a package just for me.  My sweet man had bought me a new laptop computer!  My old netbook's keyboard had stopped working so for the last few month's I have had to use either an onscreen keyboard (which took up most of the netbook's tiny screen space) or a big ol' external keyboard.  Let's just say the whole set up was considerably wonky and I may or may not have whined nonstop a bit about it. I didn't derseve it but I love my new 'puter and I love, Love, LOVE the Geek for spoiling me with it!

Meaningful Words.
I subscribe to several online newsletters.  I regularly receive a couple of homeschooling ones, a writing one or two and even a few craft idea ones to get my creative juices flowing.  They are all good reads, but my very favorite ones by far are a daily devotional and motivational (for lack of a better word) that grace my inbox every morning.  It is very rarely that their messages do not strike a chord with me.  I am a firm believer in "God-instances" and these two are often just that.  Time after time they tell me just what I need to hear just when I need to hear it ... sometimes whether it's what I want to hear or not.

Today was no exception.  Boy Wonder and I have been butting heads more often than not as of late. Oh the joys of puberty!  It seems like the instant I speak to him ... his eyes roll and he lets out a disgusted grunt or two.   My first instinct (and I'm not proud of it) has been to let him have it.  Of course more eye rolling ensues and the evil cycle continues as I feel even more compelled to let him know just how wrong his response is, not to mention reminding him just who's the boss around here.  As you can imagine, it ain't pretty folks and this is definitely not one of my stellar parenting moments in time.   It just so happens that today's Girlfriend's in God devotion was about a familiar Bible passage,

“There is a time for everything,

and a season for every activity under heaven

…a time to be silent and a time to speak,” 

 Ecclesiastes 3:1,7

I felt like it was God speaking right to my heart.  "Hey Mama Hen, will you just stop worrying about changing Boy Wonder for a second, and change what you can ... yourself.  Bite your tongue girl ... it's time."  Ouch!  Yep, it's time for a little more "growing up" on my part. Ir's not gonna be easy, but it's worth a try cuz what's going down right now ain't working that's for sure!
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Speaking of growth, I love the Brave Girls "A Little Bird Told Me..." emails.  They are the perfect cheerleader for me during my journey to discovering just what this ol' bird is made of.  Today's edition was about being comfortable with the "new you".   It really hit home for me.  I am where I am today because, if I am truthful, I let myself go.  I  kinda let myself "fall asleep at the wheel" and let life take over and did a lot of settling.  I'm waking up now and taking back control.  It's not easy, sometimes it's downright scary, but it has to be done if I want to survive.  It's easy to doubt myself and wonder if I'm doing the right thing here.  Enter today's second "God-instance" and the Brave Girls email.  It truly resonated with me and my current situation especially these lines:

It's frightening to think about how life might change if we

embrace our real, authentic, fantastic self; relationships might change,

our job might change, the way we live each moment

often changes when we

stop living on auto-pilot, when we stop settling

for what showed up somewhere along the way.

...

It will be ok. Come on out of that cocoon and show the world your wings.

Brave Girls "A Little Birdie Told Me"

Growth Spurt

My life is going through some pretty big changes right now.  As you know if you are a frequent reader of my blog, sometimes I get a little overwhelmed.  I get all discombobulated and do my fair share of whining ... at least here on the blog.  I am sure all my belly-aching gets a little old, but it's my blog and I can whine if I want to, right? 

This place is like my safe haven.  A place where I can let my hair down and vent a bit.  It's where I do a little soul-searching and maybe, just maybe, seek (and occasionally find) a little slice of peace in my otherwise topsy-turvy world. 

There's been some changes lately though, that might not be so obvious here on my blog.  I have had a growth spurt of sorts.  As with most growth spurts, there's been some pain and a few tears shed.  I've felt a bit awkward at times as I've flexed my new wings.  It hasn't always been easy for those around me to accept and I'm sure I will continue to ruffle a few feathers as I gather strength. but it's gotta be done.

I have to admit I was a bit resistant to the change at first too.  When I hit a road block it was easy to just slip back into old patterns and behaviors.  I may be a slow learner, but I began to realize that the old way of doing things was not going to work anymore.  Like it or not, change was/is the only option.

I'm still a work in progress ... heck I'm sure I will always be ... but I kinda dig the "new" Me.  She's a tough ol' bird and she's getting stronger every day and that's a good thing cuz life is just getting crazier by the minute around here!