Saturday, April 28, 2012
You Should See the Other Guy!
Friday, April 27, 2012
The Farm - Population 5 Population 7
Life has a new normal around here once again. We've experienced a population boom as of 11:15 this morning. No longer are we a brood of five, there's two more birds in the flock --- my mama and my daddy are officially residents of the funny farm. Gonna have to come up with a couple of appropriate monikers for the two of 'em 'cuz I am sure I'll be writing about them a bit more from now on. All I can come up with right now is G-ma and The Old Coot ... meh... I'll have to give it a bit more thought.
Maybe after a good night's sleep I'll be more creative. Boy Wonder and I were up 'til the wee hours trying to get this place ship-shape. I don't know that we succeeded one-hundred percent, but we sure made an improvement. Man, can my chicklets wreck havoc on the farmhouse! Of course the fact that a lot of thecrap clutter was The Geek's and mine shall be overlooked thankyouverymuch ;)
Gotta give a shout out to Boy Wonder for stepping up and helping his Mama Hen. He's a good kid, but hasn't been too willing to do my bidding as of late. I'm sure it's part of the whole teenage hormonal flux thing he's got going on, but he's been a real prickly pear and it is best to just avoid eye contact with him as much as possible. Last night, however, the man-child surprised me. He (with very little coaxing on my part, mind you) worked his tail off. It gave me hope that when this crazy ride through the "rapids of puberty" is over, he might just turn out to be a decent member of society after all.
Maybe after a good night's sleep I'll be more creative. Boy Wonder and I were up 'til the wee hours trying to get this place ship-shape. I don't know that we succeeded one-hundred percent, but we sure made an improvement. Man, can my chicklets wreck havoc on the farmhouse! Of course the fact that a lot of the
Gotta give a shout out to Boy Wonder for stepping up and helping his Mama Hen. He's a good kid, but hasn't been too willing to do my bidding as of late. I'm sure it's part of the whole teenage hormonal flux thing he's got going on, but he's been a real prickly pear and it is best to just avoid eye contact with him as much as possible. Last night, however, the man-child surprised me. He (with very little coaxing on my part, mind you) worked his tail off. It gave me hope that when this crazy ride through the "rapids of puberty" is over, he might just turn out to be a decent member of society after all.
It's difficult to decide whether growing pains are something teenagers have - or are.
Author Unknown
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Scattered
My thoughts are a little bit all over the place today. As I've mentioned before, the Geek is in a "season" of heavy business travel and I'm doing the single parent thing. That alone muddles the brain, let me tell you. Throw in getting ready for my parents arrival here on the farm in a few days and homeschooling the brood and you have one seriously bird-brained Mama Hen at times. That said, I hope you'll indulge me as I share a couple of unrelated things bouncing around in my noggin at the moment.
Say Cheese!
First off wanted to share a random picture of my chicklets before church last Sunday. It wasn't easy getting four people up and ready on time .... okay, we may have been afew several minutes late;) I probably shouldn't have taken the time for a photo op, but normally they are a little dirtier around the edges than this ... I had to capture it while I could. They clean up well dontcha think?
My man rocks!
The Geek gave me the most awesome surprise. Yesterday the UPS man dropped off a package just for me. My sweet man had bought me a new laptop computer! My old netbook's keyboard had stopped working so for the last few month's I have had to use either an onscreen keyboard (which took up most of the netbook's tiny screen space) or a big ol' external keyboard. Let's just say the whole set up was considerably wonky and I may or may not have whinednonstop a bit about it. I didn't derseve it but I love my new 'puter and I love, Love, LOVE the Geek for spoiling me with it!
Meaningful Words.
I subscribe to several online newsletters. I regularly receive a couple of homeschooling ones, a writing one or two and even a few craft idea ones to get my creative juices flowing. They are all good reads, but my very favorite ones by far are a daily devotional and motivational (for lack of a better word) that grace my inbox every morning. It is very rarely that their messages do not strike a chord with me. I am a firm believer in "God-instances" and these two are often just that. Time after time they tell me just what I need to hear just when I need to hear it ... sometimes whether it's what I want to hear or not.
Today was no exception. Boy Wonder and I have been butting heads more often than not as of late. Oh the joys of puberty! It seems like the instant I speak to him ... his eyes roll and he lets out a disgusted grunt or two. My first instinct (and I'm not proud of it) has been to let him have it. Of course more eye rolling ensues and the evil cycle continues as I feel even more compelled to let him know just how wrong his response is, not to mention reminding him just who's the boss around here. As you can imagine, it ain't pretty folks and this is definitely not one of my stellar parenting moments in time. It just so happens that today's Girlfriend's in God devotion was about a familiar Bible passage,
I felt like it was God speaking right to my heart. "Hey Mama Hen, will you just stop worrying about changing Boy Wonder for a second, and change what you can ... yourself. Bite your tongue girl ... it's time." Ouch! Yep, it's time for a little more "growing up" on my part. Ir's not gonna be easy, but it's worth a try cuz what's going down right now ain't working that's for sure!
.
Speaking of growth, I love the Brave Girls "A Little Bird Told Me..." emails. They are the perfect cheerleader for me during my journey to discovering just what this ol' bird is made of. Today's edition was about being comfortable with the "new you". It really hit home for me. I am where I am today because, if I am truthful, I let myself go. I kinda let myself "fall asleep at the wheel" and let life take over and did a lot of settling. I'm waking up now and taking back control. It's not easy, sometimes it's downright scary, but it has to be done if I want to survive. It's easy to doubt myself and wonder if I'm doing the right thing here. Enter today's second "God-instance" and the Brave Girls email. It truly resonated with me and my current situation especially these lines:
Say Cheese!First off wanted to share a random picture of my chicklets before church last Sunday. It wasn't easy getting four people up and ready on time .... okay, we may have been a
My man rocks!
The Geek gave me the most awesome surprise. Yesterday the UPS man dropped off a package just for me. My sweet man had bought me a new laptop computer! My old netbook's keyboard had stopped working so for the last few month's I have had to use either an onscreen keyboard (which took up most of the netbook's tiny screen space) or a big ol' external keyboard. Let's just say the whole set up was considerably wonky and I may or may not have whined
Meaningful Words.
I subscribe to several online newsletters. I regularly receive a couple of homeschooling ones, a writing one or two and even a few craft idea ones to get my creative juices flowing. They are all good reads, but my very favorite ones by far are a daily devotional and motivational (for lack of a better word) that grace my inbox every morning. It is very rarely that their messages do not strike a chord with me. I am a firm believer in "God-instances" and these two are often just that. Time after time they tell me just what I need to hear just when I need to hear it ... sometimes whether it's what I want to hear or not.
Today was no exception. Boy Wonder and I have been butting heads more often than not as of late. Oh the joys of puberty! It seems like the instant I speak to him ... his eyes roll and he lets out a disgusted grunt or two. My first instinct (and I'm not proud of it) has been to let him have it. Of course more eye rolling ensues and the evil cycle continues as I feel even more compelled to let him know just how wrong his response is, not to mention reminding him just who's the boss around here. As you can imagine, it ain't pretty folks and this is definitely not one of my stellar parenting moments in time. It just so happens that today's Girlfriend's in God devotion was about a familiar Bible passage,
“There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under
heaven
…a time to be silent and a time to speak,”
Ecclesiastes 3:1,7
.
Speaking of growth, I love the Brave Girls "A Little Bird Told Me..." emails. They are the perfect cheerleader for me during my journey to discovering just what this ol' bird is made of. Today's edition was about being comfortable with the "new you". It really hit home for me. I am where I am today because, if I am truthful, I let myself go. I kinda let myself "fall asleep at the wheel" and let life take over and did a lot of settling. I'm waking up now and taking back control. It's not easy, sometimes it's downright scary, but it has to be done if I want to survive. It's easy to doubt myself and wonder if I'm doing the right thing here. Enter today's second "God-instance" and the Brave Girls email. It truly resonated with me and my current situation especially these lines:
It's frightening to think about how life might change if we
embrace our real,
authentic, fantastic self; relationships might change,
our job might change, the
way we live each moment
often changes when we
stop living on auto-pilot, when we
stop settling
for what showed up somewhere along the way.
...
It will be ok. Come on out of that cocoon and show the world your wings.
Brave Girls "A Little Birdie Told Me"
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Growth Spurt
My life is going through some pretty big changes right now. As you know if you are a frequent reader of my blog, sometimes I get a little overwhelmed. I get all discombobulated and do my fair share of whining ... at least here on the blog. I am sure all my belly-aching gets a little old, but it's my blog and I can whine if I want to, right?
This place is like my safe haven. A place where I can let my hair down and vent a bit. It's where I do a little soul-searching and maybe, just maybe, seek (and occasionally find) a little slice of peace in my otherwise topsy-turvy world.
There's been some changes lately though, that might not be so obvious here on my blog. I have had a growth spurt of sorts. As with most growth spurts, there's been some pain and a few tears shed. I've felt a bit awkward at times as I've flexed my new wings. It hasn't always been easy for those around me to accept and I'm sure I will continue to ruffle a few feathers as I gather strength. but it's gotta be done.
I have to admit I was a bit resistant to the change at first too. When I hit a road block it was easy to just slip back into old patterns and behaviors. I may be a slow learner, but I began to realize that the old way of doing things was not going to work anymore. Like it or not, change was/is the only option.
I'm still a work in progress ... heck I'm sure I will always be ... but I kinda dig the "new" Me. She's a tough ol' bird and she's getting stronger every day and that's a good thing cuz life is just getting crazier by the minute around here!
This place is like my safe haven. A place where I can let my hair down and vent a bit. It's where I do a little soul-searching and maybe, just maybe, seek (and occasionally find) a little slice of peace in my otherwise topsy-turvy world.
There's been some changes lately though, that might not be so obvious here on my blog. I have had a growth spurt of sorts. As with most growth spurts, there's been some pain and a few tears shed. I've felt a bit awkward at times as I've flexed my new wings. It hasn't always been easy for those around me to accept and I'm sure I will continue to ruffle a few feathers as I gather strength. but it's gotta be done.
I have to admit I was a bit resistant to the change at first too. When I hit a road block it was easy to just slip back into old patterns and behaviors. I may be a slow learner, but I began to realize that the old way of doing things was not going to work anymore. Like it or not, change was/is the only option.
I'm still a work in progress ... heck I'm sure I will always be ... but I kinda dig the "new" Me. She's a tough ol' bird and she's getting stronger every day and that's a good thing cuz life is just getting crazier by the minute around here!
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Stuck
I should be sleeping right now, but I can't seem to turn off my brain this evening. I have a "to do" list a mile long and (thanks to a recent bout with a nasty flu bug) next to zero energy. We're talking zip, zero, nada, zilch gumption folks. I get up every morning with the intention to actually whittle down my list a bit and find I am lucky to even manage to get myself outta my jammies by lunchtime.
I could blame my lack of oomph on not feeling well, but truthfully I think even if I was feeling fine I'd still be overwhelmed. I've got so much to do, I get all tuckered out just trying to figure out where to begin.
This is where the Geek usually helps me. He helps me stop looking at the "whole enchilada" and to break it down into "bite-size" chunks. Once that's done do something ... anything ... just get started.
It seems so simple, but for some reason I have a tough time doing it on my own. I often get caught up in "woulda shoulda couldas" and beat myself up for not getting started earlier. I get so stuck thinking about what I shoulda or coulda done differently, that I find it hard to just move forward and start somewhere.
They say knowledge is power. Recognizing you have a problem is the start you often need to overcome it, right? Well, my name is Pamela and I am a procrastinator but I'm willing to change ... first thing in the morning :)
I could blame my lack of oomph on not feeling well, but truthfully I think even if I was feeling fine I'd still be overwhelmed. I've got so much to do, I get all tuckered out just trying to figure out where to begin.
This is where the Geek usually helps me. He helps me stop looking at the "whole enchilada" and to break it down into "bite-size" chunks. Once that's done do something ... anything ... just get started.
It seems so simple, but for some reason I have a tough time doing it on my own. I often get caught up in "woulda shoulda couldas" and beat myself up for not getting started earlier. I get so stuck thinking about what I shoulda or coulda done differently, that I find it hard to just move forward and start somewhere.
The best time to plant a tree is twenty years ago, the second best time is now.
Chinese Proverb
They say knowledge is power. Recognizing you have a problem is the start you often need to overcome it, right? Well, my name is Pamela and I am a procrastinator but I'm willing to change ... first thing in the morning :)
Friday, April 13, 2012
I Get By with a Little Help...
I often quote movie/television lines and song lyrics. I don't know if it annoys people. I suppose (most days anyway -- she mutters snarkily under her breath) I hope not ;) Quite frankly, I have done it for soooooo long, I don't see myself ever changing. The Geek himself finds it endearing and that's enough to make me say if it ain't broke... :)
That said, a certain "line" came into my head as I started to write this post today.
Yeah my life's been a tad bit " flipped-turned upside down" as of late and to be quite honest I am starting to show some wear and tear on the ol' tires baby! There are days I feel like I am on the verge of losing it ... "I'm a Donkey on the edge!" (quick ... where's that one from?) Truth be told, I have lost it a couple of times and for that I apologize my dear peeps. This Mama Hen needs a serious time-out, unfortunately Life apparantly DID NOT GET THE MEMO and keeps hurling some serious doo-doo in my direction. Sheesh! What's a girl gotta do to get a break?
I won't bore you with all the gory details of what's "hit the fan" in the past month or so, but the fact that I still have an ounce (and seriously that's pushing it) of sanity left is truly only due to the grace of God. I know He's got my back. I do. But can I be honest about something here? I gotta admit I'm a little uncomfortable with His choice to remain a unseen, silent hero at this point. I could use a bit more "front and center" if you know what I mean. But I know He's there and even if I grumble ... I know it's a blessing to have Him pulling for me and that I'd be lost without him. And even though I might feel He is in the shadows right now, I do recognize that He's assembled a cast of characters to help ease my load. I am so thankful for this band of "angels" in my life right now. It's because of them I find myself with the oomph to make it through another day.
My peeps.
If I am being honest here (which if you haven't figured out I am) my brood is really the source of much of my stress and anxiety at the moment. Despite their drain on my psyche, they are a teensy bit of a help too. A well placed hug does wonders and at the very least they have provided some comic relief from time to time. The Geek's job has him away more than he's here lately (DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THAT ONE) and as anyone who does this full-time knows -- single parenting seriously kicks. your. behind. It is not for the weak and right now I am a card carrying wimp! The Geek insists I am stronger than I think I am ... Ha! Easy for him to say from a 1000 miles away! Okay, I'll quit my whining for a minute and admit it does help to hear it anyway.
Some Good Eggs.
There are some women in my life right now who may or may not know how much their love, support and prayers mean to me. If you are reading this and are asking yourself, "Hey is that wacky ol' bird talkin' about me?" Why yes darlin', yes I am. To know I have some fellow mama hens sharing an encouraging word or two with me during this season of my life is life-saving! You chicks rock!
A Wise Ol' Owl.
That said, a certain "line" came into my head as I started to write this post today.
Now, this is the story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
My life got flipped-turned upside down
bonus points if you can name that tune:)
Yeah my life's been a tad bit " flipped-turned upside down" as of late and to be quite honest I am starting to show some wear and tear on the ol' tires baby! There are days I feel like I am on the verge of losing it ... "I'm a Donkey on the edge!" (quick ... where's that one from?) Truth be told, I have lost it a couple of times and for that I apologize my dear peeps. This Mama Hen needs a serious time-out, unfortunately Life apparantly DID NOT GET THE MEMO and keeps hurling some serious doo-doo in my direction. Sheesh! What's a girl gotta do to get a break?
I won't bore you with all the gory details of what's "hit the fan" in the past month or so, but the fact that I still have an ounce (and seriously that's pushing it) of sanity left is truly only due to the grace of God. I know He's got my back. I do. But can I be honest about something here? I gotta admit I'm a little uncomfortable with His choice to remain a unseen, silent hero at this point. I could use a bit more "front and center" if you know what I mean. But I know He's there and even if I grumble ... I know it's a blessing to have Him pulling for me and that I'd be lost without him. And even though I might feel He is in the shadows right now, I do recognize that He's assembled a cast of characters to help ease my load. I am so thankful for this band of "angels" in my life right now. It's because of them I find myself with the oomph to make it through another day.
My peeps.
If I am being honest here (which if you haven't figured out I am) my brood is really the source of much of my stress and anxiety at the moment. Despite their drain on my psyche, they are a teensy bit of a help too. A well placed hug does wonders and at the very least they have provided some comic relief from time to time. The Geek's job has him away more than he's here lately (DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THAT ONE) and as anyone who does this full-time knows -- single parenting seriously kicks. your. behind. It is not for the weak and right now I am a card carrying wimp! The Geek insists I am stronger than I think I am ... Ha! Easy for him to say from a 1000 miles away! Okay, I'll quit my whining for a minute and admit it does help to hear it anyway.
Some Good Eggs.
There are some women in my life right now who may or may not know how much their love, support and prayers mean to me. If you are reading this and are asking yourself, "Hey is that wacky ol' bird talkin' about me?" Why yes darlin', yes I am. To know I have some fellow mama hens sharing an encouraging word or two with me during this season of my life is life-saving! You chicks rock!
A Wise Ol' Owl.
And last (but by no means least) there's you, my friend. I know we don't talk as often as we once did, but you are still in my heart each and every day. Knowing you are out there in the "Land of OZ" pulling for me like my sister always did ... well dude, that means more to me than you will ever, ever know!
So thank to my motley crew ... my support staff ... my "life preservers".
You are the wind beneath my wings!
So thank to my motley crew ... my support staff ... my "life preservers".
You are the wind beneath my wings!
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Back in the Saddle Again
It's been so long since I last posted I could write a novel! The Geek has begun a major travel period for work. He just returned from Erie, PA and heads off to Las Vegas soon. He'll be in and out quite a bit in the next few months, in fact by the end of May he will have been gone almost 10 weeks total :( I gotta tell ya' folks I am not cut out for single parenthood. The chicklets say I'm doing swell, but I fall to my knees every night asking for the good Lord's grace to give me the strength to make it through one more day (not to mention forgiveness for all the times I blow it throughout the course of the day.) I have learned not to look ahead and just make it through one day at a time. That and I never lose control.Okay, maybe that last one needs a
I'd be a liar if I didn't say there wasn't some apprehension about the whole thing. It's going to be a big change opening up our home and lives to "outsiders." My parents have stayed with us every summer for our entire marriage, so we have done this before. This time is different though. This time it's permanent. I can only imagine how this will affect our entire family dynamics. We aren't saints here on the farm. Sometimes our attitudes can be downright nasty. What will it be like when we have "one of those days"? Maybe it's a good thing. Maybe this will make us all think a bit more before we take out our "yuckies" on one another.
I am excited too. I enjoy my parents company and I love the fact that my chicklets will interact with them on a daily basis. I mean how cool is that? I never really knew my grandparents (two were gone before I was born, one died when I was four and the other was never a part of our lives) so I have to admit I am a bit envious of their relationship. I see everyday as another deposit in their memory banks and it almost makes me giddy.
I'm dealing with a bit of sadness/grief here as well. The real reason they are coming here is because time has taken its toll and in reality Mama and Daddy can't live on their own anymore. Daddy is in what appears to be the final stages of his life. Congestive heart failure is stealing him away from us and there is only so much modern medicine can do before God calls him home. Mama is unable to get around all that easily anymore and without Daddy would be pretty much helpless. She wants to be here and settled when he passes and I don't blame her. Can I just say it hurts to see my parents fading away?
A lot of people have asked me how can I do it? How can I open up my home to two more people who will be depending on me when I already have my hands for with the three I've got. To them I say, I will do what I have to do because I believe this is all a part of God's plan. Truthfully, I am thrilled to be a part of His "show" and I consider it an honor to take care of my parents like they have done for me. When you become a parent you don't think about all the care and feeding you will now have to do (okay maybe you do a little, but...) you just do it. You do it because God has given you a blessing like no other and you do it because you are filled with love for that little human being. Well, I am filled with love beyond measure for my parents. They haven't been perfect (duh, none of us are... can I get an "amen"?), but they are mine and I wouldn't trade that or this next stage of life serving them for anything in the world.
Love begins at home, and it is not how much we do... but how much love we put in that action.
Mother Teresa
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